Open Letter To Traitor Baiters

Today, I’d like to comment on Bill O’Reilly calling the staff at Air America Radio traitors deserving to be locked up by the FBI.

I’ve read a few comments on Internet message boards in the past couple of days calling people like myself traitors, so I’d like to respond to those allegations. I’m doing it the way I do it best…in an open letter to traitor baiters. It’s goes something like this…

Dear Obstinate Wingnut,

Yeah, you with the “personal experience” talking points that add up to zero. Get your sorry ass over here! Did I hear you correctly? You called me a traitor?

Sit down, son! If you’re going to call me out, then you better come at me with verifiable proof I should be worried about making an FBI watch list or else a fistful of truth is coming your way so hard, so deep and so fast you’ll be screaming “Oh God!” at a higher decibel level than Teri Weigel’s voice could ever dream of achieving.

Before I give you a bitch slapping that would make Jon Stewart envious, let’s get a few things straight. Because I believe in God, I have some human compassion for you guys on the other side of the political fence. Not much, but some. With that in mind, let me state my side of the story before you attempt to repudiate my talking points with your usual belligerent nonsense.

What makes someone like me a traitor in your eyes? Is it the fact that you don’t appreciate my writing style because I tell it like it is, and I don’t pull any punches? Is it that I’m more than willing to do a little research, dig up and then publicize the little-known issues and news stories that otherwise would damage your credibility if the mainstream media were doing its job and reporting them?

Or maybe, in the immortal words of Col. Nathan R. Jessep, you can’t handle the truth!

Bill O’Reilly can talk out of both sides of his mouth on The O’Reilly Factor about clowns at Air America Radio undermining the Iraq war and the war on terror, but he wouldn’t know a traitor if it crawled on top of his falafel thing and kicked him in the balls.

What kind of self-proclaimed, non-partisan talk show host is this guy anyway? Anyone who threatens a boycott of a country we’re not at war with, doctors quotes made by others, calls Nancy Pelosi a nut, and tells an attractive attorney that she is on his radio show because she is eye candy for him is not someone to be admired. I’ll refer to him as a sloppy, sexist wingnut propagandist and he can take his two Peabody awards and shove them up his ass.

Oh, I forgot something. Al Franken exposed his two Peabodys as a lie in his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.

I am not a traitor by any stretch of the imagination. A traitor willfully engages in behavior that endangers the safety of our citizens and troops, both at home and abroad, and commits actions that help a foreign government overthrow or make war against the United States.

Does that sound like me? Hell no. Chances are, I love my country more than a Great American like Sean Hannity does. Unlike most of you self-centered, narcissist people, I care about the welfare of my fellow man:

• I don’t approve of programs shifting the burden of tax breaks from the middle class and wealthy onto the backs of the poor, the elderly, and the disabled.
• I don’t believe you can be a good Christian if you are intolerant of others because their race, gender, sexual orientation, income level, or religious beliefs are not the same as yours.
• I don’t think war is the answer to solve all the problems in the world, especially when our own government fabricates the existence of those problems.
• I don’t support the troops by buying a magnetic ribbon at the convenience store. I donate to Operation Truth and create awareness of issues affecting soldiers, veterans, and their families.
• I get pissed off when I see First Amendment rights violated, endangered species threatened by our government’s policies, and the degradation of race relations in my home state.
• I don’t think we have any business telling a woman what she can or can’t do with her body, let alone deny her access to prescriptions for contraceptives.

Now that you know I’m not a threat to national security, why don’t we discuss a couple of individuals who should be brought up on treason charges, or at least be put on an FBI watch list?

Daryn Kagan’s OxyContin-addicted main squeeze should take the next flight to Cuba, be forced to squeeze his inflated ego inside one of those XXXXL Club Gitmo t-shirts, and witness with his own eyes whether or not soldiers are hazing the prisoners for shits and giggles at Guantanamo Bay.

Rush Limbaugh, that’s the way things ought to be, you big fat idiot!

The other traitor we need to take care of is that creepy looking Deadhead that occasionally appears on Hannity & Colmes. Ann Coulter should be whisked away to a foreign country in an unmarked Learjet for her blasphemous comments against Muslims and people of Arab descent, trivializing the treatment of prisoners at Abu Ghraib, claiming terrorists supported John Kerry in his presidential bid, stating Elizabeth Edwards warned of riots if Kerry wasn’t elected, and the list goes on and on and on…

Wherever we send Ann Coulter, I hope they serve her Lahn Bi’ajeen seven days a week and it tastes as bad as Duncan Hunter’s honey glazed chicken and vegetables.

Ann, stop your bitching because that’s what you get for talking about liberals with that mouth of yours!

Okay wingnuts, do you now understand what a treasonous act is now? I hope you enjoyed today’s lesson, and I invite you to visit the RobbDogg School of Hard Knocks anytime for extra credit. Don’t be a stranger!

Sincerely,
Robbie Michaels
Your Great Progressive American Patriot